Marriage Advice

I got married recently, and so far its been amazing. A PERFECT wedding day, complete with my friend bobby tripping as he entered the sanctuary (which i thanked him for because he quelled the rush of emotion that was about to bubble over as I stood awaiting my bride). A PERFECT reception where i got to party with friends and family. A PERFECT honeymoon where i just hung out on the beach and drank daiquiris with my beautiful lady all day.

Everything has been amazing, especially how well loved i have been by all of my friends, friends who traveled from california and ohio at their own expense to be with me on this special day, friends who have offered me their help and their time whenever i have needed it. My wedding was special because i was wedded with an amazing girl, my best friend. But it was also special because all of my best friends were there with me. My pastor and friend, who has taught me so much about who God is, was there to look me in the eye, pray with me, calm me, comfort me, and give me some of the best marital exhortations i have ever heard. The day was so very special.

Now that all of the chaos of getting ready for the big day has settled, I have had some time to settle down and listen to the marriage advice of those with quite a bit more experience than I. The refrain has been this: don't sweat the small stuff. EVERY SINGLE person I have talked with has said this one thing. I guess I should take it to heart.

My favorite advice? Well, it comes from the cable guy. Comcast sent John, a tall, broad shouldered, overweight, ex-military African-American to my new apartment in Tuscaloosa to set up our cable. Trying to make conversation as he worked, he said, "Now you must be waitin' around fo' school to start, right?"
"Well, yeah, just kinda hangin out until then," I said, "and just trying to enjoy my new marriage while I've got the time on my hands to do so."
"Oh, so you just got married?" he replied.
"Yeah, just a few weeks ago."
"Well, bless yo' little heart," he said with an overt chuckle, "I remembuh the firs' three yeeuhs uh' my marriage I was like.....why oh why did I do this? But I'm still doin it twenty six yeeuhs latuh."
Laughing, I asked, "Well how did you manage to make it?"
"Oh, well, uh......time. Jus' time. I had to learn not to sweat the small stuff....I had to learn to jus' let her do it her way and be wrong. Thas' whut you gotta learn young man. She gon' have to have it her way, an' you gone have to let her do it."
"That sounds like good advice," I said.
"It is. And here's the second thing. There was an ole' R&B song I used to listen to that pretty well tells ya my next piece of advice. It's called, 'It's cheaper to keep her.' An that's the truth. Once you reproduce, they get half. Plain and simple. Then they gone' make ya pay that child support, and so well really, they get mo' than half. So you sleep on the couch if you have to, cry with a blanket, call ya momma, and do whuteva you gotta do, but I'mma tell ya now, It's cheaper to keep her."
And I am having trouble breathing in between bouts of laughter. So ends cable guy's marriage advice.

I suppose that's one way of looking at it.